Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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