Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Randomize
