Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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