Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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