Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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