yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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