Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize
