i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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