I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
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