Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
