Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
last night I used snow as a chaser
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
