I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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