so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
