I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
