My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
