I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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