The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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