I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Randomize
