2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
