dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
