it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize