I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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