After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
