id be glad to
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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