and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Randomize
