He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
