either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
