btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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