It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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