I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
sarcasm needs its own font
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
