Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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