I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
