Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
