wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
