you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
