real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
