And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
