i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i will never coherently bang her
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Floor bacon is actually really good
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
