He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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