he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
