then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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