so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
