pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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