She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Come on in and take your pants off
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