im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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