his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
We are all done wearing pants today
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
