just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Randomize
