no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Randomize
