So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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