Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
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