ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Randomize
