We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
