my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
