I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
