I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
